


A Fire I Can’t put out

by LovingGwendolaj



Category: Actor RPF, Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Actor RPF - Freeform, F/M, Romance, Set in the future, Smut, and maybe a little angst, golden globes, gwendolaj - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:49:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28826976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingGwendolaj/pseuds/LovingGwendolaj
Summary: ** this work is RPFThings didn’t work out for Jaime and Brienne when Game of Thrones ended and they didn’t work out for Gwen and Nik either. A surprise meeting in the future may give the latter a second chance but can they really expect the ending to be any different?
Relationships: Gwendoline Christie/Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 223
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well I didn’t plan to start a new Gwendolaj any time soon but here we are 🤨 I’m going to keep the chapters shorter on this one so I can keep updating my Braime works regularly. I haven’t a clue where this is going, I just had this little fantasy of a surprise meeting between these two in the future and this first chapter flowed out. Hope you guys like the start and we can see where it goes together 😘

Gwen took one last look in the mirror and smiled. She knew she looked incredible in her vibrant orange Versace gown. It wasn’t a color she wore often but it suited her. It had also been a long time since she’d picked something this sexy for a red carpet. With the dress hugging every curve and cut to the hip to show off her legs she knew she would be turning heads for sure. Maybe even make a Golden Globes best dressed list or two if she was lucky. 

She hadn’t attended the globes for a few years, not since the last time Game of Thrones was nominated for their final season. She wasn’t attending with the cast of her new show either, but rather as a presenter this time around. The new series had created a lot of buzz and attention for her, but it wasn’t the kind of show the Emmys or Globes typically recognized. 

She was presenting the award for best supporting actor in a drama series. It was always such a tough category - unless Peter Dinklage was in it, then it was always a shoe in. Her co-presenter was supposed to be the hilarious Jim Parsons, who she had never met before and was excited to finally have the opportunity, but she had received word a few hours earlier that Jim had come down with a stomach bug and had to back out. They said they were working on a last minute replacement but there was a chance she would have to wing it alone. Gwen didn’t feel too nervous about it. She had presented alone many times. All she had to do was read the teleprompter anyways. 

What she was more nervous about was attending alone and sitting at a table where she didn’t really know anyone. She had always sat with her cast mates before and it was fun and comfortable, but now she would be stuck at a table with random people and forced to make small talk until she could finally escape to present her award. 

The red carpet was every bit as wonderful as she imagined. She received numerous compliments on her dress, posed for selfies with fans and spoke with the press. It was only a couple years ago people wondered if award shows would ever be the same because of COVID. But the vaccines had rolled out and the world slowly but surely went back to normal. 

The table she was at was every bit as awkward as she expected too, so she just focused on the show and made sure not to drink too much before she had to present. When it was finally time she headed backstage. “So we found someone,” she was told, as she closed her eyes and let someone touch up her makeup. “He’ll enter from the left side, you from the right and you’ll meet at the microphones. We had to change the script a bit since it’s not Jim, but just read the prompters and you’ll be fine.” 

She felt a pat on her shoulder. “Who am I presenting with?” Gwen asked. But when she opened her eyes the woman had gone and Gwen was being summoned to the side of the stage. “They’ll call you in 20 seconds,” a man said. Gwen looked down and smoothed her dress, fixed her cleavage and took a deep breath. “10,” she heard. “And 3 - 2 - 1 -“ They pulled back the curtain and she strode out to the middle of the stage. She didn’t see anyone coming from the other side and only heard them announce her name. Guess they didn’t find someone after all, she thought. 

When she stopped in front of the microphone, she glanced ahead at the teleprompter and read what it said. “Good evening. As you might know I was supposed to present with the amazing Jim Parsons but he is under the weather and couldn’t make it. Never fear though, a replacement has been found. Please welcome him to the stage now -“ She stared at the teleprompter hoping the name that came up was one she could pronounce, but no name appeared. 

The audience started to clap and Gwen turned to see who was joining her on stage. She gasped when she saw who it was and her heart started to race. Their eyes met as he walked towards her and it was as if everyone else disappeared. She didn’t hear the clapping, she didn’t see the flurry of activity happening in the wings, she couldn’t feel the camera on her any longer - all she knew in that moment was him. 

Nikolaj was smiling at her, and it felt as if all the years and months they had been apart meant absolutely nothing. He made her knees weak and her body burn just like every other time before. “My lady,” he said, taking her hand and lifting it to his lips. Her entire body was tingling with excitement. 

With a quick glance at the teleprompter she saw what her response was supposed to be. “Ser,” she said softly, looking into his sparkling blue eyes. Right then and there, on the Golden Globes stage, in front of hundreds of people and millions of viewers at home, she fell in love all over again. All this time she thought she had buried her feelings for Nik, but in a matter of seconds they all came back, burning down her walls, and crashing through her defenses. 

There was a show going on. They were on a strict timeline. There were anxious nominees in the audience waiting to hear who won. But Gwen didn’t care about anything but the treasure she’d been given, standing right there, still holding her hand. 

With a shaky breath she stepped forward and flung her arms around him. The audience erupted into cheers. She could hear them clapping, whistling and screaming, as she hugged him tightly. She felt his soft chuckles against her neck where his face was tucked. “Nik,” she whispered. Her words came out as almost a whimper and she felt him pull her even closer. His hands were on her back, touching her skin, spreading goosebumps all over her body. 

The emotion she was feeling was almost ridiculous. But she now knew how it felt to reunite with someone she missed with every fiber of her being - even though she hadn’t known she missed him that much until that very moment. 

“Hey beautiful,” he whispered back. Her heart fluttered and she felt dizzy. “We should, uh, probably hand out this award before they kick us off the stage,” he added. 

“Oh right, yes,” she muttered, reluctantly letting him go. Nik caught her hand and continued to hold it while they turned to the teleprompter and the audience died down. Gwen honestly had no idea what she said, she was in a complete daze. It must have been funny because she could remember laughter, but all she could focus on was the feel of his hand in hers and the way his presence made her feel light and giddy. 

He didn’t let go of her hand until she had to open the envelope and announce Kieran Culkin as the winner for his portrayal of Roman Roy on Succession. As soon as they handed over the award and Kieran started his speech Nik took her hand again and they stepped back out of the spotlight. “Is this real?” She asked, leaning over to whisper to him. 

“If it’s not, I’m having a really sexy dream,” Nik replied, his voice husky, dripping with lust. She could feel his eyes travel down her body and the burning fire raging inside her grew even hotter. His finger tickled her palm and Gwen had to squeeze her thighs together. She looked over at his face. He may have had a few more wrinkles than before, but it just made him even sexier. Even after all this time, months and years and so much distance between them - she knew with certainty that absolutely nothing between them had changed. What she didn’t know was what exactly that meant?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the buzz about new Netflix projects for both Nik and Gwen I was inspired to write another short chapter for you today:) Now off to work on All I Wanna do. Hope you all enjoy!

“How are you here?” Gwen asked, as they were ushered backstage. They were still comfortably holding hands as they walked. She didn’t want to let him go because touching him made it all feel real. She worried if she let go she would wake up and it would all be a dream. 

“When they called I almost said no,” he replied, eying her. “I wasn’t sure how you would react.” Nik smiled. “I must say I’m pleasantly surprised.” 

“I’m so happy you’re here I can’t even find it in my heart to insult you,” Gwen said, returning the smile. She had been putting on a happy face all night, acting, faking it, but her smile was genuine now and she knew the glow on her face could only be described as radiant. 

“Oh please do, it might feel too awkward without a good dig or two,” he teased.

“Fine,” she sighed dramatically. “What’s with the pants?” Her eyes wandered down his body to the extra snug suit pants he was wearing. Her gaze lingered in all the right places and she felt that warmth creeping in again. 

Nik shrugged. “Jim’s suit was a little small for me,” he deadpanned. His eyes travelled from her face all the way down to the sparkly heels she was wearing. “And what’s with your dress? Aren’t you - cold?” 

Gwen laughed. Her first real, true, carefree laugh all night. It was loud, as it always was when she really let go, and she knew people were staring at them, but she didn’t care. “Well, for the first time in awhile I didn’t feel obligated to wear a Giles Deacon monstrosity.” She spun slowly in a circle. “Whatcha think?” 

Nik was giving her a curious look at first and she knew exactly why. But that was a story for another time. She only wanted to focus on them and enjoy the time they had together however long or short it was. “I think you look incredible,” he said softly. She felt him stroke the palm of her hand again. It was a little something he’d always done when he was in a flirty mood and it still gave her the same flutters in her chest. “I’m really glad I agreed to be here tonight,” he added, reaching for her other hand. He leaned in, moving up on his toes to reach, and he placed a kiss on her cheek. 

Bulbs flashed and she heard the familiar clicking of cameras. “Nikolaj, Gwendoline - can you pose for us?” They were backstage, where the press spent the entire evening. It shouldn’t have been a surprise at all, but she’d been so focussed on Nik she’d forgotten they weren’t alone. 

“Uh - yes - of course,” she got out. Nik stood beside her and she slipped her arm around him. He did the same, but instead of letting his hand rest on her back, out of sight, he reached all the way around to her hip and laid it right there where the slit opened to reveal her leg. She played it cool and posed for the camera with a big smile at everyone who called her name. After a few seconds she casually laid her hand on top of his and their fingers naturally twined together. She sensed Nik wasn’t looking forward anymore, and she realized he was staring at her. Gwen also knew that the camera was catching the classic Nikolaj heart eyes that she had seen many times before at these events. The way he looked at her was breathtaking and had made her feel things, believe things, for so many years but still, he had never made those feelings into anything more - anything real. 

A seat usher approached them. “Excuse me, may I help guide you back to your tables?” he said politely. Gwen knew that it was his job to keep people from loitering backstage so it wouldn’t get too crowded and to make sure people went back to their seats so they didn’t run out of seat fillers. 

“Yes, of course,” she replied, giving Nik a disappointed look. She really didn’t want the magic moment to be over. 

They followed him out a door into an empty hallway that would lead back to the floor where their tables were. “We can take it from here,” Nik said. 

The usher looked a bit unsure, but finally nodded. “Yes Sir,” he said with a nod and went back out the door they had just come through. 

The second it closed behind him Nik grabbed her and walked her backwards until her bare back hit the cool door and she gasped. It didn’t take long to warm up though, especially with the way he was looking at her. God she really had missed this so much - the rush, the thrill, the adrenaline, these little stolen moments, and the dizzying effect he had on her. Weak knees, a racing heart, trouble catching her breath, and the heat - the intense heat that burned inside her. No one else could make her feel that. She’d never felt it before him and she hadn’t felt it since. Only with him. 

“We should talk,” Gwen said softly. 

“We should,” he agreed. It was something they hadn’t done, something that was missing from the past couple of years. There was no real ending between them because communication had just slowly trickled and faded away until it was gone completely. 

He didn’t say anymore and neither did she. They just stared and breathed. She was well aware that someone could push on the door behind her at any second and end this moment - whatever it was. But before they did she needed more. His touch, his smile, his words - they brought everything back, but still, she was greedy. She needed one more thing to be sure what she was feeling was true. 

Her eyes dropped to his mouth but Gwen didn’t have to make the first move. When his lips touched hers she sighed and closed her eyes. Images flooded her mind, filling her with such strong emotions that she almost had to pull away. So many times those lips had been on hers - they had been all over her body in fact. He’d kissed her everywhere, tenderly, passionately, sometimes in fear, in anger - and she was pretty sure - in love. 

Nik’s fingers slid gently up the side of her bare leg and she moaned as he left tingles on her skin. Their tongues touched - and that’s when everything exploded. Her hands clawed his back, tugging at his suit jacket, willing him closer. He pressed into her body, and took the kiss deeper, until they could barely breathe, then he broke away and moved his lips to her neck. His hand was still on her leg and she lifted it, bringing his groin right against hers. She knew she was going to leave him in an uncomfortable situation with those tight pants, but he’d been there before, he would figure it out. 

She felt his tongue on her skin, tasking her and she wanted to scream, to cry out a loud moan of deep, intense pleasure, but thankfully she was able to hold it back because right then she felt the door jostle behind her. “Shit,” she whispered, pushing him back. 

Nik put his hand on the door above her head. “Go, quick,” he said, holding the door closed while she ducked under his arm and adjusted her dress. When she looked at his face she almost laughed out loud, there were lipstick smears that they had to get rid of. She reached in his pocket where she knew there would be tissues - he always had tissues in there. As fast as she could she wiped at the smudges until they were gone and then shoved the tissue back into his pocket. 

The door banged. “One minute,” Nik called out loudly. “Go,” he whispered. 

“Nik?” She hissed quickly turning back. “Netflix after party. Find me?” 

He nodded. “Of course.” With that she took off around the corner as she heard Nik saying something about a missing contact lense. She giggled - he didn’t wear contacts. Gwen made a quick pitstop at the ladies room to check her makeup and then headed back to her table to wait out the endless minutes until she could finally escape to the after party and see him again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, it’s been a day ☹️ I wasn’t going to post this today but I think I need to. I really hope you guys enjoy it and it makes your day better than mine has been 😂

As Gwen made her way inside after 25 minutes or so of press and photos in the arrivals area she was feeling pretty damn good. The dress was a massive hit. She’d received so many compliments on it and how incredible it looked on her. Even though she knew there would be the critics who said it was too revealing and the twitter trolls who called her slutty - she honestly didn’t give a fuck. She’d worked hard to keep her body fit and she’d earned the right to wear whatever she wanted. 

There was a little part of her that wondered if she would have dressed differently if she’d actually known that Nik was going to be there? She didn’t want him thinking that she’d purposely dressed the way she did to tease him or torture him - or maybe that’s precisely what she would have done. There was no denying that she really enjoyed the effect the dress was having on him, but she also knew that it didn’t take a sexy dress for him to look at her that way. She could wear enough material for 14 people, and thanks to Giles she had, and he would still look at her with lust and desire in his eyes. 

As soon as she entered the party area she scanned the crowd hoping Nik was there already. When she didn’t spot him right away she headed for the bar. These things were always easier with a good buzz on. She walked up and ordered a double shot whiskey in diet Coke and tapped her nails on the bar while she waited. There were plenty of familiar faces she could have approached and easily made conversation with, but for some reason she didn’t have it in her to be the usual social butterfly that she was. 

“I thought you’d never get here,” a voice whispered in her ear. Gwen sighed and immediately relaxed. She could feel his presence behind her and she slowly turned with the glass the bartender had just dropped off in her hand. She had actually forgotten how much better she always felt at these parties when he was close. Nik had always been content to just stay nearby while she mingled and drank and made people laugh - and just knowing he was there made her feel more confident and vibrant. If she ever started to have any feelings of doubt or insecurity all she had to do was glance in his direction and everything would be fine. 

How did I survive without him for all this time? All those events? If she was honest with herself she knew she was strong and independent and that’s exactly how she’d survived, but still - she loved having him there as her security blanket - and the wind beneath her wings.

Gwen leaned in and kissed him on one cheek and then the other, just like she would with any other friend that approached her. There was a time they didn’t kiss in public, not even a friendly cheek smooch like she’d just done. But enough time had passed that the rumour mill around their relationship had died down. Not for long though, she thought, remembering all the little moments they had shared so far that would ensure a blind item or two at the very least, if not a full entertainment article on TMZ or E! Online. For once though - she honestly didn’t care. Let them talk. 

“Are you trying to create a buzz?” Nik asked, giving her an amused accusatory look. 

“You’re one to talk with the way you posed for those photos backstage,” she shot back. 

“Touche,” he laughed. “In fact, I’ve already received a text about those.” He held out his phone and showed her. 

“Looks like you’re having fun,” she read the text from Nik’s wife out loud. It was followed by one of the photos they were just discussing with his hand resting on her hip and their fingers linked. She stared at the photo and it gave her tingling goosebumps. They looked like a happy couple, madly in love. And they looked so damn good together. “Uh oh,” she added, giving him a sheepish look. 

She had never understood Nik’s wife back then and she wasn’t going to bother trying now. Nukaka was well aware of their affair and Nik’s indiscretions but she pretended that it didn’t matter to her, even bizarrely encouraged it at times and gave ‘permission’, but the next thing you knew she would get possessive and jealous. It was like a game where she pushed Nik away and then pulled him back in on a whim. Then she would heap a spoonful of happy family time on him and the guilt would draw him right back to her. It wasn’t that Nik didn’t enjoy spending time with his girls, Gwen knew he loved them both deeply, but it was the way it was forced on him as a reminder of who he was supposed to be that didn’t sit well with Gwen. But it was also something she didn’t have a say in. That part of his life was kept at a distance from her and even though she knew exactly what was going on, it was always just the way it was and never discussed. And maybe that’s exactly why they had drifted apart like they had. There would be a discussion this time though, she would make sure of it. But for right then, she just wanted to enjoy the night and their time together. 

Nik just shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll deal with it later.” Gwen narrowed her eyes at his lackadaisical response and made a mental note to delve into that when they actually had a conversation later on. “I ran into Mamoa,” he added. “Emilia is sitting with him and Lisa, and Henry Cavill and a few others from Henry’s series - they’re saving us a couple seats at their table.” 

“That’s a lot of eye candy at one table,” Gwen teased. 

“I know you’re referring to me, not those younger men with rippling muscles and great hair,” he said, looking cocky. 

“Actually I was referring to Emilia and Lisa,” she laughed. “And hopefully that sexy actress who plays Yennefer.” 

“They don’t hold a candle to you,” he replied, taking her free hand to lead the way. Tingles - again - always. The reunion with Jason and Emilia was absolutely lovely and of course the press wanted photos of the 4 of them together so they happily obliged before sitting down at the table with the others. Henry was absolutely charming and Anna and Anya from the Witcher were both very sweet - and gorgeous - as well. 

She was sitting right beside Nik the whole time, who couldn’t keep his hand off her bare thigh under the table. “What are you doing?” she whispered, feeling his hand creep a little higher. While the words coming out of her mouth seemed to indicate she had a little sanity left in her, her body was telling a different story. Her legs opened a little more and her pussy started to ache, begging for his touch. 

“What are you doing?” he replied, obviously noticing what she’d done. Gwen immediately squeezed her thighs together, pinning his hand between them and gave him a look. Nik just laughed and picked up his drink with his free hand and downed it. It was the third one he’d had since they sat down and she knew he was feeling it with the way he was getting more bold with his touch. 

“I could make things really awkward for you,” she threatened. 

He bit his lip and then did that sexy thing he did with his jaw as his lusty eyes travelled her body. “What makes you think I’m not already there?” Immediately her eyes shot to his groin and she had to swallow back a moan. He was indeed - there - just from touching her leg. Gwen loved that she could turn him on so easily. 

She leaned in close to his ear. “How about you get that under control so we can get out of here,” she suggested. He grinned and she let go of his hand so he could pull it away. She listened to him get involved in a conversation with Jason and Henry about extreme sports they wanted to try and then she spent a few minutes catching up some more with Emilia. 

Half an hour later she eyed him and leaned in again. “Ready?” 

Nik nodded. “Absolutely.” They said their goodbyes to the table and headed outside to get a limo. “Your place or mine?” he whispered as a limo pulled up.

“Oh no,” she shook her head. “Slow your roll Romeo - there’s somewhere else I need to go first.” She laughed at his immediate pout and then told the driver where to take them before she slipped into the limo.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Gwen is going to be a lot different than the one I usually write. But I think it will be a fun change so I hope you guys enjoy it.

“We leave a glamorous afterparty in Hollywood and this is where you want to go?” Nik asked as they walked up the steps and in the front door. 

“It’s almost 2am, I’ve been drinking and I’m starving,” she replied. “Why wouldn’t I want to go to an all-night diner for a greasy and delicious plate of breakfast?” He just shrugged and smiled at her. She knew it was a bit ridiculous, but she honestly didn’t care. The two of them walking in a greasy spoon diner wearing a tux and gown, after spending the evening bumping elbows with half of Hollywood was actually quite hilarious, but she wanted runny eggs, crispy bacon and strong black coffee - end of story. 

Other than a small group of college kids in the back, likely as drunk as they were, the place was deserted. She heard one of the boys say, “woah” in a very appreciative way, when he saw her and she felt like the biggest MILF cougar on the planet - it was fucking awesome. She gave Nik a look and he nodded in agreement. 

They found a table on the other side of the restaurant and sat down. “I could pick up some barely legal college kid tonight if I wanted to,” she whispered flirtatiously. 

“Or you can go home with a real man who knows exactly what you like,” he replied, eying her with his sexy, smouldering gaze. 

Gwen rested her elbows on the table and put her chin in her hands. “It’s been a long time, are you sure you still remember what I like old man?” She dragged her tongue seductively over her teeth. 

“Oh I do, I’ll never forget how to turn you on,” he whispered. “And remember - I’m like a fine wine - I keep getting better with age.” Gwen felt the arousal brewing again, but a waitress with two menus arrived and cooled the air. 

She was young, likely early 20s, and very sweet looking. “I never in a million years would have thought the two of you would show up here, tonight,” she said with a smile. 

“You and me both,” Nik joked, looking at Gwen. 

“I saw you on the Golden Globes. Your reunion was so sweet,” the waitress gushed. “Uh,” she looked around. “We aren’t supposed to do this, but -” She seemed really nervous to ask. 

Gwen stood up. “You want a selfie don’t you?” The waitress nodded eagerly. Gwen walked around to where Nik was sitting and took a seat on his lap. The waitress took out her phone and Gwen held out her hand. “May I?” 

“Of course,” she replied with that starry eyed glaze Gwen had seen a million times before in her fans eyes. Gwen tugged her down and the three of them got into the frame together. She snapped the picture and took a quick look to make sure it turned out and then handed back the phone. “Oh my God, thank you so much,” she said happily. “Oh, uh, what can I get you to drink?” 

“Coffee for me, black,” Gwen said. 

“Same,” NIk echoed. As the waitress walked away she felt Nik’s hand on her leg and she shifted in his lap, not bothering to get up. In fact, she leaned back and slipped an arm around him. “What are you up to?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” she said sweetly. 

“This is literally the opposite of how you normally act in public with me and I’m trying to figure out if you’re really that drunk or if you’ve completely lost your mind.” His hand crept higher and for once she didn’t stop him. No one could see them at the moment, but the waitress could return at any second. 

Gwen tilted her head and found his mouth. She kissed him slowly, as if she couldn’t care less who was watching. She licked at his lips and then brushed his tongue with hers when he opened his mouth. Then she pulled back and looked at him. “I’m not that drunk and I haven’t lost my mind,” she said. “I just don’t fucking care any more.” She got up, smoothed her dress and moved back to her side of the table. 

“You don’t care?” he repeated. “But you always cared, more than cared - you were obsessive about it and so guarded with your privacy.” 

“And look where that got me,” Gwen said with a shrug. “I’m alone and this is the first time I’ve seen you in two years or more.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “I don’t know how much time we have together this time around, but I’m not wasting it.” 

“Wow,” he breathed. “This is a lot to process.” 

“Why?” she asked. “You never cared before, not like I did I mean. You would have hugged me and touched me and held my hand any chance you got if I’d have let you. So why are you so freaked out now?” 

“I’m not freaked out, not at all,” Nik shook his head. “I just - I don’t want you to get hurt.” He turned her hand over and traced a heart in her palm that sent tingles through her entire body. “Do you think the PR team on your new show is going to be happy about a scandal?” 

He had a point, but she still felt this complete and utter ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude that was so out of character and so liberating at the same time. “When you put your hand on my hip like that for that photo - I actually felt free with you for the very first time and I want more. I want to feel that way every time I’m with you.” Now that she had spoken the truth and put it out there she felt so much excitement swirling inside her that she wanted to jump up and scream with happiness. 

Nik didn’t reply because the waitress returned with their coffee. They placed their order and she left again and then he spoke. “It did feel really good,” he admitted. “Like we finally emerged from the shadows after more than a decade of hiding.” Nik paused and then started again. “But - “

Gwen cut him off with a groan. “No ‘buts.’ Not tonight. Let me have the rest of this night and tomorrow we will talk about all the ‘buts’ you want to talk about. Tonight, the only butt we’re going to discuss is how I want your hands all over my naked one.” 

“What exactly are you wearing under that dress anyway?” he asked. As well as the conversation had been going, she knew Nik was still very whiskey drunk and she also knew that whiskey made the man horny as hell. She glanced behind her and then picked up her coffee cup. There was a booth by the window, where people could see them from the outside, but certainly wouldn’t be able to see what was going on under the table. 

“Come on,” she said, leading the way. She got in and slid over to make room for him, hiking her dress up a bit as she did. Once they were settled she spread her legs open under the table and then guided his hand between them. “Not much,” she replied, finally answering his question. The only thing she had on underneath was the tiniest of g-strings, that was almost pointless with how little material it was made of. 

His fingers easily and expertly moved the material to the side and he rubbed her gently. Gwen bit her lip and held back a moan. Nik leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “I want to fuck you, right here, right now.” They both knew it wasn’t going to happen, but the buzz it created inside her and the ache he was eliciting as he played with her pussy had her on the verge of exploding already. She spread her legs a little more and he sunk his fingers deeper. Gwen fought to keep her face neutral, but it was getting more and more difficult by the second. 

When she saw the waitress come around the corner with their food, looking rather confused, Gwen held up her hand and waved. She wiggled and Nik pulled his hand away. “It was a bit drafty from the air conditioning,” Gwen explained, pointing at the roof vent near the table they were sitting at before. 

“Oh, yeah, we get that a lot,” the waitress laughed, setting their food down. “Is there anything else I can get you?” 

“I think we’re good for now,” Nik replied, flashing her a smile that made the poor woman blush before she turned around and took off. 

Gwen dug in right away and Nik took a bite of his scrambled eggs, then set down his fork while he chewed. “How does it taste?” she asked, after she swallowed. 

Nik lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked two of his fingers, one at a time. It was the exact two fingers that had just been playing with her pussy. “Delicious,” he replied, after slowly licking his lips. Gwen squeezed her legs together and took a deep breath, suddenly regretting her need for food, but also thankful because she knew they would both need lots of energy for what the rest of the night would bring.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I couldn’t sleep so I finished this chapter up. 😘😘 I know people were hoping for a new chapter of All I Wanna do, but I only had time for something short so I chose this one instead. My apologies ❤️

“My place?” Nik asked while digging out some cash to pay for their food. He threw a $50 on the table to cover their bill that was probably around $15. 

“The place you share with your wife?” Gwen said, giving him a look. 

“You have to know I bought that place for you - for us,” he replied. He’d never actually admitted that before, although she suspected it back when he first made the purchase. LA wasn’t really his wife’s kind of place and his daughters were already getting older. “Besides, it never bothered you before and she hasn’t been there in close to two years now anyway.” 

“You really didn’t notice?” She asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. 

Nik shook his head. “Notice what?” 

“That I made sure we never ended up in your bedroom, or in the bed your wife slept in.” She finished the last sip of her coffee and watched his face as he thought about what she said. 

“Wow, I guess I never did notice.” He grinned at her. “I was too distracted by what was going on I suppose. In the pool and the kitchen and the living room - and that one time up in the garden area.” He actually looked a bit wistful as he reminisced and it was quite adorable. 

“And don’t forget that night we didn’t make it inside,” she whispered. That was a dangerous night - very dangerous. It was also a night she thought about a lot. What if they had of got caught fucking against the front door, with the porch light putting a spotlight on them? Where would they be right now if that had happened? She was always so careful, so guarded, and then she let herself get carried away that time. Was there a part of her, her subconscious perhaps, that wanted them to get caught? 

That part wasn’t in her subconscious anymore. It wasn’t that she wanted them to get ‘caught’ but more that she didn’t care to hide her feelings any longer. Not tonight at least, Gwen thought. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Nik said urgently. He stood up and offered a hand to help her slide out of the booth. She quickly adjusted her dress and followed him to the door. The limo was waiting for them right where it had let them out. The driver came to open the door and Nik gave him the address. 

It was a bit of a drive, but at least they wouldn’t be slowed by LA’s lovely traffic that time of night. “How many people do you think have fucked in the back of this thing?” Gwen asked, sliding closer to Nik as the driver pulled away. 

“I have a feeling there’s a lot of sex happening in a lot of limos on any given awards night,” he chuckled. “Why? You want to give it a go?” 

She shook her head, but she also hiked her dress up and then turned and straddled him. “No,” Gwen replied. “But I would like to get you good and ready for when we get to your place.” 

His hands went immediately to her bare ass where he squeezed and groaned at the same time. “It’s a long drive. You’re going to kill me,” he whined. 

“Poor baby,” she teased, leaning in to attack his lips. She felt his hands move higher and then shivered as he touched the triangle of material and then followed the thong down the crack of her ass and around to her pussy.

“You’re still so fucking wet,” he moaned, breaking away from her kiss.

She leaned back in and firmly bit his bottom lip. “Always,” she drawled, watching his tongue dart out to lick the wound. 

“You’re evil,” he chuckled. 

“Oh I’m just getting started,” Gwen replied, settling even more into his lap. She slowly started to grind on him, swaying her hips and gyrating like she was riding his cock. She could feel him getting hard through those tight pants. 

“Fuck,” he moaned, holding her hips so she stayed firmly again his growing erection. He let go with one hand and pushed the strap off her left shoulder. It fell away exposing her breast, which he quickly covered with his mouth. 

Momentarily distracted by his mouth latched firmly to her nipple Gwen quit moving. She threw her head back and moaned loudly - very loudly. Nik was laughing when he released her. “How often do you think the driver hears sounds like that?”

“He could be up there spanking it while he drives for all I care,” she replied crudely. She reached around to the back of his neck and pulled his face back to her breast. “Back to work.” His tongue swirled around her nipple twice and then he sucked hard - really hard. “You fucker,” she gasped. 

“That was for biting my lip,” he said, laughing again. 

Gwen glared at him for a moment and then slipped slowly off his lap until she was kneeling on the floor between his legs. She gave him an innocent look and reached for his belt. She opened it slowly and then undid the top of his pants. She could feel his rock hard cock as she pulled the zipper down. Nik sighed at the extra room she made unzipping him. 

“You know what they say about payback,” she said sweetly, as she reached into his underwear and pulled out his dick. “But you trust me, don’t you?” Gwen batted her eyelashes playfully. “Do you trust me enough to put your cock in my mouth?” 

“Yup,” he replied without a second of hesitation. 

“Are you sure?” She cooed, as she lightly stroked his shaft. 

“I can’t even remember the last time I had a decent blow job, so I’m willing to take the risk,” Nik said, leaning back a little more. Gwen would never admit it to him, but holding his thick cock in her hand felt fucking incredible. Actually seeing him like that, fully aroused because of how badly he wanted her - it was making her pussy ache and drip with desire. 

“Okay then, I guess I could give it a little suck then.” She bent her head and as soon as she was close enough she swirled her tongue around the tip of his penis. “But don’t you dare come,” she added. “Not until we’re in your house and this big fucking dick is buried deep in my cunt.” 

“Yes ma’am,” Nik said. It came out as a groan because she deep throated his cock while he spoke. She moved up and down his shaft, taking him right to the back of her throat time and time again. “Dear God,” he moaned, lifting his hips slightly, pushing his dick even deeper. Gwen took it, all of it, without the slightest gag or choke. “You’re fucking incredible.” 

Gwen desperately wanted to get back into his lap and ride him for real. She could feel how slippery she was between her legs and there was an urgent aching at her core. She reached down and touched herself, then pulled her hand away, wet and sticky with her juices. Blindly she lifted the hand to his mouth and shoved her finger inside. Nik sucked and licked her finger, like he was getting the last of his dessert. 

“Fuck,” he moaned. Suddenly he was pulling and tugging her and the next thing she knew she was on the seat on her back and Nik’s face was mashed between her legs, his tongue eagerly lapping at her pussy, hitting anywhere he could reach that wasn’t covered by the thong material. 

This is heaven, she thought, as she wrapped her legs around his neck and enjoyed the pleasure. She was getting pretty fucking close to coming when the car slowed and stopped. At first she assumed it was a red light, until she heard the driver’s door open. “Shit. Fuck,” she swore, shoving Nik away. 

“I thought you didn’t care anymore?” He teased, as he tucked his dick back into his pants and did them back up. 

“I don’t, but I really don’t want a limo driver seeing my snatch,” she hissed. Gwen just got herself situated when there was a tap on the window. 

“We’re here,” the driver called out. 

“Ready my Lady?” Nik asked, lifting her hand to his lips. 

Warmth rippled through her. “Yes my Lord,” she replied, giving him a sexy grin just before the door opened up to let them out so they could continue in private.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two and all their sexiness are so fun to write 🥰🥰 Hope you enjoy this latest instalment! 😘

“This is the epitome of a bachelor pad,” Gwen commented when they were both inside. 

“I told you, my family doesn’t come here anymore,” Nik replied, quickly shrugging off his suit jacket. He tossed it on a chair just inside the door with a hoodie, ball cap and a pair of boxer shorts. 

He watched as she bent down to undo the ankle strap on the sexy heels she was wearing. Her ass was so fucking perfect and it made his already fully aroused cock strain even harder against the fitted pants he was wearing. 

Nik had to look away before he attacked her right there. He glanced around the room and thought back to when he’d bought this place. He was telling the honest truth earlier when he told her he’d bought it for them. It was the first time he’d spoken that truth out loud to anyone. What kind of man, married man, buys a multi million dollar home so he has somewhere to fuck his girlfriend? It made him feel a little better all this time to keep that to himself. But something about the way Gwen was acting and the feelings that came rushing back the second that he saw her made him feel like confessing. There was a different vibe between them and while he didn’t understand it, he was enjoying it very much.

A melancholy feeling washed over him briefly and suddenly he felt like an idiot. Had he really believed that he could buy a home in LA and his family wouldn’t want to visit? Had he really thought that Gwen would be okay with being his mistress, in a home his wife had visited with their children? It wasn’t that she hadn’t been there several times. It wasn’t that they hadn’t fucked all over the place. But it was never planned out in the way he’d imagined when he made the purchase. They were all just chance encounters and quick visits. Just like he was quite sure that very night would be as well. 

Whatever the night brought, and the next day, Nik decided he was just going to enjoy every damn second of it. When the Globes called him to fill in he knew he’d been given a gift. How many times had he thought about texting her but didn’t do it? He knew she was in the city. He knew she was presenting. But so much time had passed and he honestly wasn’t sure if she would even want to hear from him. Surely she was better off without him complicating her life. 

He looked over at her again as she undid the second strap and then kicked off the shoe. Well at least now she wouldn’t be towering over him and he could pretty much look directly into her beautiful eyes. It was so cliche and way too romanticized a thought for a man like him, but he honestly felt like he could get lost in her eyes. There was so much mystery there, so many thoughts and emotions and intrigue. It would take him a lifetime to figure her out - and whenever he was alone with her Nik found himself wishing that was possible. 

Gwen looked at him and their eyes locked. Her gaze was smouldering and he could feel the sexual tension, thick and heavy, in the air between them. He looked her over again - that dress was something else. There wasn’t another woman on the planet he would rather be looking at right then, but it wasn’t just the dress. It was her confidence and the heart of gold in her chest. It was the way she could smile and make the world a better place in a split second. And it was the way she made people feel when she was close - lighter, happy, carefree. 

“Now where were we?” she said, slowly making her way towards him. With each step she took his heart started to pound even harder. When she was close enough he reached for her and pulled her into his arms, holding her body flush against him. The dress was thin and he could feel every curve of her body. He also knew she could feel his erection, especially when she gyrated her groin against him. Nik groaned and she smiled at him. 

Gwen touched his hair and looked into his eyes again, then she dropped her gaze to his neck and undid his bow tie, followed by his top 3 buttons. He hadn’t really noticed how tight it was until she freed him and he felt like he could breathe better. She slipped a hand inside his shirt and touched his chest with her warm, smooth hand. She laid it over his heart and smiled. Nik knew she could feel the wild pounding against her palm. 

He reached down and then trailed his fingertips up the side of her bare thigh. When he got to the top he reached around inside the dress and grabbed her bare ass. He squeezed and pulled her against his groin. His cock was aching, desperate to be freed, but for the time being it also felt really good to have her body pressing and rubbing against him. 

Even though it had been a really long time since they’d been together, everything felt the same as it always did. They’d had a comfort and ease with each other, pretty much from the start and it turned into a familiarity, but the passion never died down, if anything it only got stronger every time they fucked. She could turn him on like no woman he’d ever been with. She could make his body go from ice cold to a raging inferno in a matter of seconds. But Nik knew he did the same to her and knowing that only made him crave her even more desperately. 

They had each other burning backstage, then again in the diner. The fire was raging out of control in the limo and now - it was a true wildfire that couldn’t be contained any longer. It would burn and burn until they were both completely satisfied and, like wildfires often did, it would smoulder then reignite a while later with nothing more than a gentle breeze to refuel it. 

Nik let go of her ass and moved his hands to her shoulders. He found the straps of her dress and pushed them both off. When he stepped back, the top half of her dress fell away exposing her tits. His groin tightened even more and he groaned again. Nik quickly undid the rest of his shirt and threw it aside, then wrapped his arms around her. Skin on skin, her bare breasts pressed into his chest - it was magical. 

He felt Gwen wiggling against him and realized she was working the dress off her hips, so he stepped back and undid his pants, shoving them to the floor where he kicked them aside, just as she stepped out of the pool of dress around her ankles. She lifted her arms in the air and spun in a slow circle to show off the only thing left on her body - an itty bitty g-string. 

When her ass was facing him Nik quickly stepped forward to grab her. As he did he reached into his boxers and pulled out his dick. When their bodies met his cock was placed perfectly along the crack of her ass. This time it was her turn to moan, as he grabbed her tits and started to rub his erection between her ass cheeks. 

Gwen pulled away from him a moment later and turned to face him again. With an evil looking grin on her face she looked him in the eye and very slowly she slipped a hand down over her stomach. He watched the tips of her fingers move inside the front of the g-string and then lower. She bit her lip and whimpered slightly as she touched herself. She was so fucking sexy it made him dizzy and he felt his knees ready to buckle if he didn’t get control of himself. 

It didn’t help matters that when she pulled her hand back out he could see her fingertips glistening with moisture. And it certainly didn’t help when she moved her hand to his mouth and rubbed her pussy juice all over his lips. Nik licked it off and groaned, then grabbed her hand and sucked every last bit off her fingers. 

“I want your pussy all over my face,” he growled, tugging her toward the couch. 

She nodded but resisted against his pull. “Not here,” she said. He quit tugging and let her take the lead. Gwen led him to the very last place he expected after their earlier conversation - she led him to the master bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a little classic, dirty Gwendolaj smut for your enjoyment 😂

They both did away with the last of their clothing before Gwen roughly shoved him onto the bed. He hit the mattress and bounced, feeling his stiff cock bob up and down as he did. He was used to her aggressive nature and he’d really missed it. The woman knew what she wanted and she took it, but sometimes all she wanted was for him to take the lead which he would happily do - but that was certainly not the case right then. 

Nik laid flat on his back and waited for her to make her next move. He’d already told her what he wanted, but was she actually going to give it to him? It didn’t take but 2 seconds to answer that question and find out he was going to get everything he wanted and more. He felt her climb onto the bed and the next thing he knew there was a knee on each side of his head and he was looking right at her sweet, juicy pussy almost within reach. Her scent was intoxicating. He’d already sampled her flavor not once, but twice, and he could wait to get to the main course. 

He reached up with his hand and touched her smooth pink skin, grazing gently from her clit all the way along towards her opening and then back. Gwen moaned, loudly. She was always loud and he loved that about her. With her crazy adorable laugh he wasn’t at all surprised with the sounds that came out of her the first time they fucked. Nik used two fingers and spread her open, exposing the glistening wet flesh inside. His mouth watered and he lifted his head to take his first lick. 

“Mmm,” she groaned, as he licked her a second time. Gwen dropped lower and he was able to lay his head back onto the bed as she settled her pussy against his face. He used both hands to open her wide and then delved right in with his tongue, probing as deeply as he could reach. Her juices flooded his taste buds and the flavor filled his mouth. The euphoria of how delicious she tasted flowed through his entire body, culminating at his cock. His engorged dick throbbed with pleasure and grew even thicker and harder. He knew he wanted her on it - he wanted her to ride him like a fucking rodeo bull, but that would mean her pussy would no longer be sitting on his face and he wasn’t ready for that to end yet. 

It was almost as if she could half read his mind when she started to rock her hips. She wasn’t riding his cock, but she was fucking his face with conviction, while Nik licked and sucked and nibbled any part of her pussy he could reach. The smell, the taste, the wet and slippery feel - it was enough to drive him fucking wild. It was like he had everything he wanted but couldn’t get enough all at the same time. 

When he thought his senses couldn’t possibly take any more he felt something new. His cock was suddenly wet and warm - and he realized the tip was at the back of her throat. Nik felt dizzy and a brief moment of panic washed over him. It was too much. Too fucking much. He recovered quickly and started to plunge his tongue in and out of her pussy in the same rhythm as she was bobbing up and down on his shaft. 

As good as it felt to have her sucking him off he actually missed those moans and groans she always made. He wanted both. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He was greedy - filthy, disgusting and desperately ravenous. 

Nik shifted slightly and moved his tongue lower. He felt her swollen, smooth clit and flicked it. She immediately released his cock and cried out. It was like a sweet victory and last place finish in the same race. The cool air hit his dick and he already missed the feel of her sucking on him but the more he flicked his tongue over her nub the closer he was getting to having her come all over his face and that was most definitely a gold medal finish. 

Her thighs started to grip his head like a vice and he knew she was getting close. He flicked harder and faster, starting to get dizzy from the increased pressure on his temples. He finally had to tap her leg to get her to release him a bit. “Fuck, sorry, oh God,” she cried in quick succession. She rocked her hips a few times and then cried out again. He kept licking her clit until she wrenched herself away from his reach and sighed happily. 

She leaned forward and went right back to his cock and Nik was in heaven once again. He thought about asking her to fuck him instead, but his curiosity over how long she would suck him won out and he stayed quiet. He reached up blindly and found her pussy with his hand. He made sure to avoid her sensitive post orgasm clit and instead he slipped a finger inside her. She was so wet and sticky - it was his turn to moan loudly. Between the feel of her pussy and the incredible blow job Nik was hanging on the edge in no time. 

He let her go a little longer before he knew he’d made it to the point of no return. He was going to come, even if she stopped right then. He was already there - he was done. “I’m close,” he groaned, giving her the chance to pull away in time, but she ignored him and took his cock right to the back of her throat again. “Shit, fuck,” he hissed as he ejaculated into her mouth. 

Gwen slowed and with one last long, deliberate suck she released him with a wet popping sound. He felt her tongue swirl over the tip of his cock licking the last little bit of cum off of him. “Dear God you are something else,” he groaned with a little chuckle. She lifted a leg and moved off of him, then she turned and knelt beside him. She rested a hand on his chest, right over his pounding heart and then smiled wistfully. 

“I’m going to need you to hurry up and recharge because we haven’t fucked yet and I’m getting really tired,” she said with a yawn. The yawn was contagious and Nik tried unsuccessfully to fight one off. 

“There’s always the morning,” he said sleepily. “You’re staying right?” 

“Yeah, okay, I’ll stay,” she replied. Just like that. He didn’t have to beg or grovel only for her to turn him down like she normally did. It was bizarre - amazing, but very twilight zone. It was reminiscent of the entire night so far though. 

“Good, then why don’t we sleep and pick up right where we left off in the morning,” he got out, followed by a yawn. 

“Nik,” she said, looking way too grave and serious for the sleepy, satisfied vibe they’d been feeling a split second earlier. “Before we sleep there’s something I need to tell you. Something only a couple people know. It might help you understand better.” 

“Understand what?” he asked, feeling very confused in his exhausted state. 

“‘Me. This. Us,” Gwen whispered, wringing her hands nervously. He nodded slowly then reached for her hand to help calm her and waited for her to continue.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluffier chapter than the rest so far 😁

“Nik,” she took a deep breath before finishing. “I had covid.”

“Oh,” he looked stunned. “That, uh, that wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Was it bad? Are you okay? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It was bad,” she nodded. “Really bad.” A ripple of fear passed over her just thinking about what she had been through. “I was in the hospital for three and a half weeks, and had another 4 weeks of care at home - well, not my home. My mums.” 

Nik sat up immediately. “Gwen, my God,” he gasped. “You should have told me.”

She gave him a look. “When I was diagnosed we already hadn’t spoken for months. And everything happened so fast. I was feeling a little off, and by the time I got tested I didn’t even have enough air to make it across the room without gasping.” Nik looked pale and physically ill as she told her story. “As soon as I was admitted to the hospital I signed a DNR. I didn’t want to be put on a vent. I’ve heard the stories about people who suffer severe trauma and PTSD from those things.” Gwen shivered. Even after everything that happened and the family she’d scared, she stood by her decision. “My anxiety and depression are already bad enough sometimes. I wouldn’t have survived it mentally.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he whispered, gripping her hand a little tighter. 

“You don’t need to say anything, I just wanted you to know why I’m acting differently about us,” she replied, searching his eyes to make sure he really understood. “I almost died Nik. My mom begged me to go on a respirator. The doctors didn’t believe I would survive without one. I was in a unit with all covid patients and people were dying every single day.” Her stomach rolled at the memories of doctors and nurses racing by her room and then slowly walking past a while later looking absolutely defeated. “It was almost a blessing when I would sleep most of the day and night so I didn’t have to see all the horrible things happening around me.” 

“I wish I could have been there,” Nik said, reaching out to brush away a tear that had just rolled down her cheek. She hadn’t even noticed she was crying, but it was really late and she was emotional about her story and quite exhausted so it wasn’t surprising. 

“It wouldn’t have mattered even if you were able to get to London during the lockdown,” she shrugged. “No one could come in and visit anyway. I talked to my mum and Giles with Facetime calls - when I was even alert enough to talk, which wasn’t often for most of my stay.” 

“I still wish I had known so I could have supported you - somehow.” He looked tortured and she felt a little guilty for not telling him, but it just didn’t make sense to burden him with the knowledge, especially with the current state of their friendship at the time. 

“Do you believe that things happen for a reason?” Gwen asked, searching his eyes. “I didn’t before I was sick, but I really think I do now.” 

“I don’t know,” he replied thoughtfully. “There are some pretty sick things that happen in this world. It’s hard to believe there’s a purpose to murder and rape and torture.” 

Gwen nodded. She had spent a lot of time thinking about the good and the bad in the world and at one point she had stalled on that very thought. “I’ve learned how to rationalize almost anything,” she said softly. “It’s not always easy and there are certainly still things that don’t make sense, but I just feel it in my gut now and I can’t shake it. There’s a reason I didn’t die when I probably should have. There’s a reason you and I went in different directions for a while. And there’s a reason we ended up together again on that stage tonight.” 

There was the hint of a smile on his lips. “And what might that reason be?” 

She reached out and traced his lips, top and bottom, with the tip of her finger. “Time will tell,” she said softly. Gwen couldn’t resist kissing him again, even though her mind and body were screaming for sleep. She touched her lips softly to his in a whisper of a kiss and then pulled back. That brief, delicate graze was all it took for her to feel flutters in her chest and tingles all over her skin. 

She could have kissed him again, but she knew if she did she wouldn’t be able to stop herself and they really did need to sleep. “Thank you for telling me,” Nik said, as he absentmindedly played with her fingers. 

Gwen nodded and then looked around the room. She knew a few years ago being there would have made her panic, and overwhelm her with guilt and remorse. It was easier to do what they did when they were out in the living room, or the pool, or the damn front step - anywhere but the room he shared with his wife. She just couldn’t do it before. But that was a long time ago and so much had changed since then - for both of them. 

This was the part where she would normally put on her clothes and leave - drive home to her hotel and sleep alone or with Giles. But never with Nik. Not once had they actually spent a night together because to Gwen that meant something more than a good fuck. Sharing a bed was intimate. Spending the night showed commitment. Back then she wasn’t prepared for any of those things. 

She met his eye and saw the full smile on his face when he realized for sure that she was actually staying. She looked down and reached for the blankets, shifting her body until she was lying down under them. Nik had done the same and she could feel the warmth of his presence at her back, even though he wasn’t touching her at all. 

Gwen wiggled backwards and felt his arm wrap around her as she settled her body against his. She tucked her ass against his ground and curled her legs into the same bend as his and then settled her back against his chest. Nik kissed her shoulder and she sighed comfortably. 

She had just closed her eyes when he spoke into her ear. “Since we’re confessing things tonight there’s something I want you to know.” Gwen opened her eyes and her heart started to beat a little faster with anticipation. “My marriage was over the very second I laid eyes on you,” he whispered. “And I’m in love with you. I always have been and I always will be.” 

Tears sprang to her eyes once again and she closed them with a happy smile on her lips. She could have told him that she loved him too because it was the truth. But it was more fun to make him wait. “I guess we have a lot to talk about in the morning,” she replied, unable to hide the giddiness in her voice. She felt his body shake as he chuckled against her and Gwen pulled his arm tighter around her body, wiggling a little more until she was perfectly comfortable and content. Then finally, for the first time ever, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the fun begin 🥰😘

When he woke the next morning Nik rubbed his sleepy eyes and then smiled as he looked at Gwen’s body, still lying beside him fast asleep. He couldn’t believe she was still there - it felt surreal. He rubbed his eyes a second time and looked again, half expecting that she would disappear. When she didn’t, he couldn’t resist reaching out to touch her - just to be absolutely sure. His fingers brushed the swell of her hip, just a graze, enough to know she was really there, but not enough to wake her. 

Somehow she had ended up covered by just the sheet while he was wrapped in the comforter, but while the linen was hiding some of her body, it wasn’t covering everything. Nik bit his lip and held back a groan, but there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop his dick from growing hard as he stared at her ass and pussy. The way her body was rolled slightly and her top leg was bent and lying on the bed, while her bottom leg was stretched out, gave him a great view of her delicate pink flesh. The same flesh he had nibbled and sucked on the night before. 

He reached out again and this time he gently traced a finger along the slit where her lips met. Even though this touch was every bit as light as the first one she instantly squirmed. Nik held his breath and watched as she stretched out her body for a moment, before settling right back into the same position. 

Nik touched her again, more purposefully this time, and she squirmed again and sighed. She was awake and aware of what was going on. He grabbed her ass and squeezed, pulling her cheeks apart slightly. His boner was fully engorged already, so ready to fuck her. 

Nik stroked his shaft with one hand and played with her pussy with the other. He spread her open and slipped a finger inside, getting it wet and lubed up before he added a second finger and pushed a little deeper. Gwen shifted and wiggled, giving him even better access to really give her a deep finger fuck until she was good and wet. With her slippery juices already starting to drip down his fingers Nik continued to jerk his cock. He squeezed hard and felt his dick throb in his hand, the veins popping out as it pulsed. 

The night before, coming in her mouth like that - it had been incredible. But nothing compared to how it felt to have her body wrapped around his cock. Gwen moaned and he couldn’t wait any longer to be inside her. Nik pulled his hand out and held up her leg as he scooted closer and rubbed the tip of his dick against her. He switched his grip to his shaft and guided himself until he felt the head of his penis penetrate her. 

“Oh fuck,” he hissed, as he sunk into her warmth. Gwen shifted again and he was able to push even further inside her. He held her hip with one hand and propped himself up with the other elbow for extra leverage, then he started to move slowly. She was so fucking wet and she was also incredibly horny. He could tell by the way she was moaning and squirming, pushing back against him and gripping the pillow. 

It has been so long since he’d been inside her, but there was a familiarity that made it so easy and natural. We are so good together, Nik thought. Their chemistry was way off the charts - he knew it and so did she. 

He slipped his hand over her stomach and reached for a breast, squeezing the whole thing first and then just her nipple. He pinched and rolled it as it grew stiff and he felt her grind her ass even harder against him. Nik wanted to give her what she was begging for, but he also enjoyed depriving her of it too, for a little while, and really making her want it. So he kept moving slowly and let things build even more. 

“Please,” she gasped. “Please.” The second time she begged it was followed by a little whimper that drove him wild. It was sexy and so vulnerable. Gwen’s presence and personality was so huge that it always surprised him when she showed these really tender moments where she was almost delicate. 

Nik pushed himself up a little higher and rolled her body a little more so he was mostly on top of her. From his new vantage point it was much easier to push into her hard and fast. “Yes,” she cried out, moaning loudly as he slammed into her. “I’m going to come,” she gasped. “Harder. Faster. Plea-“ He did as she asked and Gwen couldn’t even finish the last word. It cut off with a strangled cry and her body jolted beneath him. 

He wanted to stop and let her really enjoy her moment, maybe hold her and soothe her as she came, but he couldn’t make himself stop. It felt too good. Too fucking good. His groin started to feel tight like it was going to cramp, but before there was even the slightest hint of pain everything exploded. Satisfaction and tingles of relief washed over him, rippling through his entire body, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. When it was over he was left with the same dichotomy as always - wishing for more while revelling in the bliss he’d just experienced. But this time there was even a little extra of both because it was her and Gwen made everything better. 

Nik resisted the urge to tell her he loved her again, before slipping off of her. She knew. And maybe she still needed time to process it, or maybe she was just trying to torture him, or let him down easy - he really wasn’t sure. The only thing that really mattered was that he’d said it. It was off his chest and the ball was in her court. Perhaps he should have been nervous or a little anxious but he wasn’t. He just had a feeling everything was going to be alright and he always trusted his gut. 

When Gwen rolled onto her back with a satisfied sigh and sleepy smile he leaned in to kiss her. But Gwen covered his mouth with her hand and pushed him away. “Oh no way,” she shook her head. “This is the first time I’ve woken up beside you - I am nowhere near ready for morning breath kissing.” She pulled the sheet up to cover her mouth and nose, so just her gorgeous blue eyes and adorable messy hair were showing. 

Nik fell back onto the bed with a groan, followed by a laugh. It was typical Gwen and he loved it. “Fine, I’ll go brush my teeth and find you a new toothbrush. But once we are both minty fresh I’m going to be all over you.” 

“Deal,” she replied, her voice muffled by the sheet. He climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Nik just got the toothbrush into his mouth when she showed up at the bathroom door, still naked like him. Gwen leaned in the doorframe biting her lip and looking so fucking sexy he felt the first tingles of arousal starting again. She giggled and he noticed her phone was in her hand. She waved it, looking one hundred percent amused, and then she spoke, “Oh man, we are in sooooooo much trouble.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written this pairing a lot over the years and for some reason this chapter is one of my very favorites. I had a plan in mind, but as I started writing it was like the characters guided me. I probably sound like a crazy person right now but it was such a cool experience and I really needed it. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did writing it. Thank you all for your kindness today and in the past. I treasure it.

“As much as I would love to listen to what we’re in trouble for I’m going to need you to put some clothes on before I can focus,” Nik sighed, his gaze washing over that beautiful body. 

Gwen rolled her eyes and disappeared, returning a moment later in a pair of his boxers and a hoodie, with a clean pair of underwear for him too. She leaned back in the door and held it out to him. Nik quickly finished brushing his teeth, then walked over and took them from her, trying once more to lean in for a kiss, but yet again she stopped him. He shrugged and grinned, then slipped on the underwear. “Okay, what’s happening?” 

With a carefree smile she handed him her phone and breezed by him. She must have noticed the new toothbrush he’d set out for her. While Nik looked at the phone Gwen opened the package and started brushing. The notifications he scrolled through were endless. Lots of twitter mentions and instagram tags, but there were also a lot of text messages, including a flurry of activity in the Game of Thrones group chat that had been inactive since New Years. 

He stopped on a text from her publicist that simply read WHAT THE FUCK all in capital letters. “Oh shit,” he muttered, an amused smile creeping onto his face. He knew what publicists were like and Gwen was going to get read the riot act when she called hers later. In fact, he was sure to get a similar tongue lashing from his own publicist - which he would mostly ignore like he often did these days. 

There was another text from a name he didn’t recognize, but from the content he could tell it had something to do with her new show because it mentioned Allan - the showrunner. When she finished brushing he finally looked up from the phone. “What are we going to do? How do you want to play this?” he asked. “I’m guessing my phone will look fairly similar when I get it out of my pants out there on the floor.” 

“Not quite - I’m in much higher demand than you are these days,” she said in the old familiar teasing tone that he’d missed so much. 

“That you are,” he agreed. “But seriously, what are we going to do?” 

“Nothing,” Gwen replied. 

“Nothing,” he repeated. “What do you mean nothing? We have to respond to what people saw on that stage. And to the fact we left together - and were possibly seen at the diner.” 

“We don’t have to do anything,” she said. Nik watched her hop up onto the counter and cross her long legs. “I’m tired of doing what we’re supposed to. Saying what other people think we should say - I’m not doing it anymore.” She looked dead serious, but it was hard for him to comprehend this complete 180 in her behavior. “You do what you need to on your end, but I’m done pretending that I’m not in love with you.” 

His heart skipped a beat and then started to race. “Did you - just - say -“ Nik stammered. 

“That I’m in love with you?” Even hearing it a second time was a shock. “I don’t know why, because you’re such a pain in the ass and so full of yourself and stubborn and -” Her tone changed. “Handsome, smart, confident, caring, wise -”

“Oh don’t say wise,” Nik groaned. “That makes me sound old.” 

“Old,” she continued, shifting back to her insults. “Ancient. Washed up.” 

He quit listening and walked over to her, staring into her sparkling eyes. He gently pushed her knee off her other leg so her could stand between them. “You talk too much,” he whispered, moving his hand to her face where he drew his thumb over her bottom lip. This time when he leaned in to kiss her she didn’t stop him, in fact she met him halfway, eager and hungry. Their tongues brushed and he could taste the sweet mint. Passion exploded between them and kissed until they were both panting and gasping for air. Nik leaned his forehead against hers while they caught their breath. He gently stroked her hair and enjoyed the feel of her warm breath mixing with his. 

Gwen reached her hand down and started to rub his cock through his underwear. He groaned and pulled her closer to him, so he was perfectly positioned between her legs. She leaned back a bit and he moved his hips, grinding his growing erection against her. “Fuck me,” she hissed suddenly. “Now.” 

Nik quickly shoved down his underwear and kicked them aside, thinking how it had been pretty pointless to put them on. He reached for the boxers she was wearing and Gwen lifted her hips so he could pull them off. He grabbed her legs and tugged her to the edge of the counter and then bent his knees enough to push inside her with a groan. He could see her face in front of him, but also reflected in the side mirrors, along with his own. The desire on his own face actually turned him on even more - it was carnal and raw, but at the same time there was a tenderness there too. He was fucking her hard and fast, but it wasn’t just a lust fueled romp - it was a craving and desperate need to satisfy her because they were in love and he wanted to give her everything she desired. 

We’re in love, Nik thought, almost speaking the words out loud as he went over them in his mind. Hearing her say she was in love with him was the happiest moment he could remember having in a very long time. The only thing that ranked higher was the birth of his children so long ago. 

Sex with Gwen was like absolute heaven and he had no idea how he’d survived so long without it. Being inside her was an addiction - a drug - and now that he’d had a hit again he was completely hooked. She threw her head back and he started to move a little faster. Nik watched her slip a hand between her legs and rub her clit while he fucked her - it was so sexy he felt his balls squeeze and he worried he was going to come before she even had a chance. But somehow he held on long enough to send her over the edge with a panting gasp. Her legs wrapped around him and held him from moving like a vice as she wiggled and trembled on his cock. He let her have her moment, but as soon as she released her grip he fucked her harder and faster than before, pounding her with loud slaps that echoed through the bathroom. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak and release deep inside her. Nik pulled her ass off the counter as he buried himself inside her pussy, right down to his aching balls and exploded. 

“I guess the clothes didn’t really help too much,” Gwen joked as he set her back down. 

“They never did,” he replied, thinking of a time or two in the past they had really believed covering themselves up would stop something like that from happening. 

“Maybe clothes, food and a table between us will do the trick,” she suggested with a laugh. They got dressed and went to the kitchen, where they made themselves breakfast and took a seat opposite each other at the big table. 

Nik had grabbed his cell phone on the way out, but didn’t look at it until they started to eat. He sighed when he saw there were indeed a lot of texts, as well as an email from his publicist. There was a brief pang of guilt when he noticed Nukaka and both his daughters had sent messages. But it faded quickly, as it usually did. After having an affair with Gwen for so many years he’d taught himself not to dwell on it. 

“We probably should respond to this shit show huh?” he commented, still convinced that Gwen wasn’t actually serious about ignoring everything. 

Gwen set down her fork and looked at him. “I won’t stop you if that’s what you need to do,” she said. “But I’ve been there and done that - and look where it got me - alone and unhappy, a workaholic because that’s the only thing left in my life that matters to me.” Nik thought about Giles again and wondered what the hell happened, but didn’t ask about it. “I’ve tried being private and doing everything our publicists said we should do. People still correctly assumed we were having an affair. I can’t fight it or hide it anymore. This thing between us will never, ever, go away - that’s so obvious now. I want to live my life and just be happy - you make me so fucking happy and I don’t care who knows.” 

He sucked in a slow breath. It was a lot to process because he’d spent a long time dealing with her desperate need for privacy in the past. “I’m here for three more days and I don’t know what will happen after that,” she continued. “But for those three days I want to be with you and do everything we missed out on in that decade we snuck around. I want to go to dinner and hold your hand in public. I want to let myself look at you and not hide what’s in my heart. I want to walk on the beach at sunset and kiss you with the breeze blowing through our hair,” she sighed. 

“Hold on now - if you’re thinking I’m some sort of romantic you’re going to be really disappointed.” He was only half joking. 

“I know exactly who and what you are. I always have,” Gwen replied. “So what do you say? Three days. You, me, LA - and some paparazzi I’m sure.” She bit her lip and stared him down wickedly. “You think you can handle that?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little harsh and you may feel like this Nik is being a total asshole, but I hope I’m able to convey his frustration. I’m writing his marriage as very toxic from both sides. Hope that makes sense and comes across. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. You guys are incredible 😘😘

Before Nik had a chance to respond his cell started to ring. He looked at it and declined the call. “I’m not ready to deal with her yet,” he muttered. Not two seconds later she called again. 

“Maybe you should answer it,” Gwen suggested. “I can go take a shower and give you some privacy.” 

“You are more than welcome to hear anything I say to her,” Nik replied. He was done playing games with his wife. He really should have been done long before now but he’d let his guilty conscience talk him into doing so many things he shouldn’t have done. “But I really don’t want a fight with her to ruin my whole day.” 

A text popped up on the screen and Nik groaned. It was in Danish so he translated for Gwen. “You better answer the fucking phone the next time I call.” He rolled his eyes, really not in the mood for any of her drama. 

“Just talk to her. If she’s been on social media at all I’m sure it’s not a pretty sight for her,” Gwen said, giving him a sheepish look. “If the pictures don't speak for themselves I’m willing to bet there are excited fans, and likely a few gossipy articles already.” 

“She doesn’t really go on social media,” he replied with a shrug. 

“I bet when she wants to know what her husband is up to she sure does. It’s modern day stalking. I guarantee you she’s been all over Instagram at the very least.” Gwen looked very confident in her assumption. 

“Maybe - oh for Christ sake,” he grumbled as the phone started ringing again. 

“I’m going to shower,” Gwen said. She picked up his phone, accepted the call and shoved it at him. He scowled at her but took it and said hello. 

“What is going on?” Nukaka gasped into the phone. 

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Nik replied, already feeling like the asshole he was going to turn into as the conversation continued. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” she snapped. “Are you with her? Have people seen you together?” 

“Do you really want me to answer that?” he drawled. 

“I don’t want the two of you to be seen in public together. Do what you must, but do it privately.” Her tone was icy but had an arrogance to it that Nik wasn’t fond of. His wife could be very sweet and kind, but when she felt like she had something over him she always turned into a different person. 

“No,” he said simply. 

“Excuse me?” She sounded shocked, and he couldn’t blame her because he’d always followed her lead in situations like this and gave in to her demands, and PR stunts and plans. 

“I said no. I’m here in LA with Gwen and we’re going to make the best of it. I’m not hiding this time,” Nik stated bluntly. 

“Like fuck you are,” she growled. “You will not embarrass me and humiliate me like this.”

“Fine, I’ll call my publicist and have them put out a statement immediately that we’ve been separated for several months and divorce is imminent.” The D word was a huge trigger for her and he didn’t play that card often. In fact, he had only used it one other time when he was particularly pissed off. 

“But that’s not true,” she sputtered. “We’re married. We’re not getting divorced.” He could practically see the stubborn way her jaw would be set. 

“I’m in love with another woman,” Nik said with a sigh. “I fucked her last night in our bed. Fucked her again this morning on the bathroom counter. And I’m probably going to go fuck her in the shower when I hang up this phone.” He had finally come to the point where he couldn’t tiptoe around her anymore. He had to lay all the cards out for her to see and maybe he needed to hurt her to make her understand. “We are done. We’ve been done for years. I stayed until the girls were adults. I played the dutiful husband and I took care of my girls. I gave you everything you wanted all these years. But I’m done. It’s over.” He could already feel a weight starting to lift off of him. “If you want a statement made so you aren’t embarrassed or humiliated - I’ll do that for you. But I’m not hiding my feelings for Gwen any longer.” 

“I will take everything you have. I will talk to the press. I’ll tell them who you really are,” she threatened. 

Nik knew it was all talk. She probably wouldn’t do any of those things. But whether she did or not he really didn’t care. “Take it all, I don’t care. I don’t need money. And go right ahead and tell them anything you want, but I’m still our daughter’s father and if you trash me like that you’re going to hurt them.” Maybe it was a low blow playing the kids card, but it was the truth. If she slandered him to the press, even if everything she said was true, Safina and Filippa were going to get hurt and he knew no matter how angry she was Nukaka didn’t want that anymore than he did. 

“Do you have any idea what it’s like? What I’ve had to put up with?” Nik heard her voice break and even though he’d heard all of this before, the full on pity party that she used to get what she wanted, it still hurt his heart when she broke down. Probably because a lot of the things that she was about to say really were his fault. “To know my husband is sleeping around with other women? To know he’s in love with other women?” 

“Only one woman,” Nik interrupted. “It’s only ever been one other woman.” He had a feeling it made her feel better to think there were other women, that this thing with Gwen wasn’t exclusive. But that wasn’t the truth. He’d never strayed from his marriage before Gwen and never since. Only her. 

“Whatever,” she sniffed. “I see the looks of pity from your family when we get together. They know. Do you know how humiliating it is to have my sister in law call to see how I’m doing? She assumed we broke up Nik. Your own fucking sister thought we weren’t together anymore.” 

He didn’t keep in close contact with his sisters, so it wasn’t all that surprising she had no clue what was going on in his life. “We’re not,” he said, rubbing his temples. A headache was starting. “I’m sorry that you’re hurting,” he added, trying his best to soften his voice and find some patience, but it ended up annoying him even more trying to pretend, because he was so checked out already. “But you need to let me go. For good this time. No playing on my guilt, no mind games, no using the girls and the happy family for leverage. I’m done with that. I’m happy to coparent with you and I really hope someday we can be friends again. But no more bullshit. None. That’s done.” 

“You think I’ve been manipulating you all these years?” She sounded horrified and Nik rolled his eyes. Here we go with playing the victim. It wasn’t shocking, he knew it was coming. “You really think that’s the kind of person I am?”

Normally this is where he would back pedal and tell her he was sorry and he didn’t think that at all. Not this time. Not a chance. “Cut the crap,” he hissed. “You know exactly what you’ve done. I don’t blame you. I get it. But don’t try to pretend that it didn’t happen. You have been the puppet master from day one. I didn’t care before. Now I do.” 

“So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away from 25 years of marriage?” Her sweet and innocent tone was gone and the viper was back. 

“Text me after you’ve had some time to think and let me know what you want me to have my publicist announce. But Gwen and I will be going out tonight. And there will be paparazzi out there as usual. So I’m warning you now - the sooner we make a statement, the better. I mean, for you. I don’t care anymore.” God it felt so good to say that. It felt incredible to let it all go. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing. You will change your mind. I know it. You always do.” The air of confidence was ridiculous and really sad because it was only going to hurt more when she realized she was wrong. 

“Text me later,” he cut her off. “Have a good day.” Before she could say anything else he hung up. He knew it would just be the same circle over and over if he allowed it. 

He laid his phone on the table with a sigh and took a long deep breath. Nik actually felt really good. What just happened was such a long time coming. He knew he never would have done it if it was for this new attitude that Gwen had. It had rubbed off on him too and it actually felt like he was high. It was incredible. The possibilities of finally, after all these years, being out in the open with the woman of his dreams - they were all so bright and beautiful. 

Nik looked off in the direction Gwen had gone to shower and stood up. He’d already told his wife he was going to fuck her in the shower - so why not?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer but I had some stuff I wanted to get through without breaking it up. Hope everyone is having a great weekend 😘❤️

When Nik opened the door to the bathroom Gwen was getting dried off with a towel. “Noooooo,” he whined. “You were supposed to still be in the shower.” 

“Sorry, I took a quick shower so you could get in there next and we can get our day started.” He watched her tits bounce as she dried her hair. 

“If you don’t wrap that towel around yourself soon this is going to take a lot longer,” he said, his eyes washing over her body. She was a drug and he couldn’t wait for his next hit. “I mean, you could get back in the shower with me so I didn’t just lie to my wife.” 

She slowly covered herself with the towel while giving him a strange look. “Do I even want to know what that means?” 

He bit his lip and gave her a sheepish look. “I may have just told my wife that I was about to fuck you in the shower.” 

“You did what?” she squealed. Beyond the horrified look she was trying to maintain he could tell that she was also rather amused. Finally she cracked and snorted. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted him. “No, not right now. You get in the shower, I’m going to root through your drawers and closet to find something to wear, and then you can meet me in the kitchen for a nice little chat about the insane things that come out of your mouth.” 

“Understood,” he replied with a nod and grin. Gwen left and he got into the shower. By the time he was done she had already left the room so he got dressed and then headed out to the kitchen to find her. She was standing by the window with a cup of coffee in her hand, looking stunning as usual. Somehow she was making his clothes look sexy and femine - and way better than they ever looked on him. She was wearing a white button down dress shirt, open, with a black tank underneath and a pair of grey sweats, rolled at the bottom and pulled up to capri length. Her hair was hanging in soft waves around her face and she looked so beautiful with the sunlight reflecting off her through the window. 

When she noticed he’d arrived she picked up the coffee she’d poured for him and started walking towards the table. “Sit,” she said sternly. “Maybe we should start from the beginning so I can hear what led to you telling your wife about your plans for me in the shower.” 

“Oh good,” he said, taking a seat. “I think we need to discuss things anyway. I could really use your intuition and advice.” 

She placed the coffee in front of him and then sat across the table. “Well, which Gwen would you like to do the analysis?” she asked. “The objective and impartial one, the slightly biased but honest one, or the crazy, irrationally jealous, catty one?” 

“That last one sounds really fun,” Nik grinned. He quite enjoyed the idea of her being jealous over him, even if it was irrationally jealous. 

“Oh she’s a charmer,” Gwen drawled. 

He chuckled and then answered honestly. “Objective and impartial if you think you can manage?” She nodded. “Okay so where do I begin?” He took a deep breath. “Well, she was playing the victim as usual. She was freaking out about us being seen together and demanded that we keep things between us private.” 

“Can you blame her?” Gwen asked. “The public knows the two of you are still married. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed.” 

“I get that, which is why I offered to have my publicist make a statement that we’re separated and divorce is on the way,” Nik shrugged. “But she just went on bitching about how it’s not true and we’re not getting a divorce and blah blah.” 

Gwen slowly licked her lips as she thought about how to respond. “Why is she okay with you and I having sex? Why is she demanding we keep it hidden instead of demanding it stop or asking for a divorce?” Nik shrugged. He didn’t know and he honestly didn’t care. He knew he was being a complete dick about the whole thing, but he was just done. “Objective and impartial Gwen has ideas, but I don’t know if I can keep catty Gwen out of it - she’s a real bitch.” 

“Bring it,” Nik replied, leaning in closer, ready to hang on her every word. 

“She likes the image and status of being with you. She likes the rarity of being married to the same person for 25 years in this business where it doesn’t happen too often. She probably likes the money and lifestyle too, even if she pretends she doesn’t with her whole hippy, life is great, everyone be nice, vibe.” Nik had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. All these years and the two of them had never had this kind of conversation before. “Sorry, I tried, but it just came out.” 

“Is there anything else that just needs to come out?” he asked in amusement. 

“What? Like the way she always made sure your happy family moments were all over social media every time rumours of you and I popped up, or after we’d been at an event together?” Gwen smirked. “Or how she started to tag along - remember our last Emmys? What a shit show that was.” Nik knew exactly what she was referring to. Her and Giles, him and Nukaka, sitting together - it was awkward as fuck - especially the part when they won and he forgot to kiss his wife and turned to Gwen first. He heard about that one for a long time. How embarrassing. How humiliating. How he’d made a fool of her. Nik wasn’t even sure people had noticed and thought she was making way too much out of it. He found out later he was wrong and had to hear about it again and again. The fucking nagging was too much. 

Gwen groaned loudly and brought him back to the present. “I’m not doing this. I’m not going to be jealous or petty. You’re here with me, we love each other and that’s all that matters,” she stated. 

“Say it again,” he sighed. 

“We love each other and that’s all that matters,” Gwen repeated, knowing exactly what he was referring to. She leaned across the table and grabbed the front of his shirt and then pulled him in for a long kiss. “Do whatever it is you need to do. Involve the publicist. Or don’t. It really doesn’t matter to me.” 

“It matters to me,” Nik said softly. “Because I want to protect you - and - “ he sighed again. “And her. As much as she annoys the fuck out of me these days she doesn’t deserve to be embarrassed.” 

“I don’t need you to protect me, I’m fine - and she doesn’t want you to lie about getting divorced either,” Gwen said gently. 

“It’s not a lie though.” He watched her face as she comprehended what he was saying. “It’s really over this time.” 

“Nik, you don’t have to do th -” She started. 

“I should have done it long before now,” he interrupted. “I’m going to call my PR team and have them put out a statement ASAP.” 

“Hey,” Gwen reached across the table. “Look at me.” He met her eye. “I promise you I’m fine. Please don’t feel like you need to do anything rash for me.” 

“You know what’s going to happen if I don’t,” he said sadly. “You’re going to take the brunt of it because in this fucking sexist world we live in - that’s what happens. I’m the one that’s married, I’m the cheater - but they will focus on the fact that you’re having an affair with a married man. Men always get off easy in these situations. Sure, I’ll get cancelled for a while but I’ll still get jobs and life will go back to normal quickly. It won’t be the same for you.” 

She raised her eyebrows, held his gaze and spoke very precisely, “Don’t. Care.” 

He gave her a look. “You do.” 

Gwen shook her head. “Old Gwen, she would have cared. But now - after what I went through, I told you - I’m living my life the way I want. I don’t care what people think.” 

“What about your career?” Nik asked. “You can’t tell me that you don’t care if you lose your job or can’t find any new roles.” 

“I know it’s hard to comprehend because it’s such a change for me -” She reached for his hand again. “But Nik I swear to you - I’m good. I have plenty of investments. If I never work again I’ll be fine. I’ll volunteer with the NHS or walk dogs or take art lessons.” She was right - it was hard to comprehend. And he had a feeling this very conversation was going to happen over and over until it finally sank in. “I’ll follow you around and make sure you’re not too much of a diva on set,” she teased. 

“I need to do this,” Nik said bluntly. “I have the chance to get it right this time and I need -”

“Okay,” she cut him off with a nod. “So do it. If it makes you feel better I support your decision.” He squeezed her hand to say thank you. “But one thing first - you never did tell me what led to you telling your wife you were going to fuck me in the shower?” 

He blinked innocently at her. “I may have also mentioned fucking last night in bed and this morning in the bathroom.” Gwen groaned, but she looked amused. “It just felt like she wasn’t getting it. She was frustrating me and pushing my buttons and it came out - total dick move - I know - but I think I got my point across.” 

“Ya think?” Gwen drawled. Nik just shrugged and grinned at her. “Go call your PR people so we can focus on enjoying the next couple of days together.” 

“I won’t be long,” he promised. Unfortunately the call took almost an hour and he had to follow it up with another two calls - two very difficult calls. He couldn’t let his daughters find out the news on social media - it had to come from him. He called Filippa first and she added Safina to the call so he could talk to them both at once. 

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Safina replied after he explained what was going on. “I thought you would end up with Gwendoline 5 years ago.” 

“Saf - “ he started. 

“No, no, seriously dad - it’s fine,” she interrupted. “This has been a long time coming. Is mom okay though?”

“Probably not. She’s not fully on board with any of it,” he admitted. There was no point in trying to sugar coat things, especially when he knew Nukaka would have a different story for them. 

“I’ll go see her this afternoon,” Filippa said. “But dad - I’m happy for you. You have been miserable for years.” 

“It hasn’t been that bad,” he scoffed. 

“It has,” she said straightforwardly. “You really tried, I’ll give you that. But Safina and I always knew there was something wrong.” 

They talked for a few more minutes and then said their goodbyes. He knew it was going to be a rough, awkward road at first, even if they were acting like everything was fine. Once it sunk in they might feel differently. When Gwen went back to work he would make sure to go visit them in person. They’d always had a great relationship and he didn’t want that to change. It was hard enough with them both being adults and not as involved in his life anymore. 

Nik inhaled deeply and by the time he let the air back out he was feeling really, really good. “Okay, I’m ready,” he announced, rejoining Gwen finally. “Where to first?” 

“My hotel,” she replied. He noticed she had gathered her dress and jewelry, but put the heels back on. It sounded absurd, heels and a pair of mens sweats, but she made it work and it was sexy, not strange. “I was thinking about checking out?” 

“Absolutely,” Nik nodded, thrilled that she was obviously planning to stay at his place. They headed off to the hotel but as they approached he could see the place was swarmed with fans and paparazzi. “It’s a zoo,” he muttered. He was used to it and should have been expecting it. Gwen was a presenter for the Globes and people always figured out what hotel the celebs were being put up at. 

“You ready to hit the ground running, or what?” she asked, as he pulled up to the valet. Nik gave her a look and put the car in park. Without a word he got out of the car, walked around to the other side and passed his keys to the valet guy who had opened the car door for Gwen. He held out his hand and helped her out of the car. The cameras were already flashing. 

“Are you two together now, or what?” a voice screamed from behind the barricades the hotel had set up. “It is true you’re having an affair?” Well, these people sure got right to the point didn’t they? “Nikolaj,” another voice screamed. “Gwendoline, can I get a selfie?” 

He ignored them all and finally replied to Gwen. “I’m ready,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her warmly on the cheek. There was a chorus of screaming that followed and so many more comments being yelled. Nik threaded his fingers through hers and they started to walk inside, hand in hand, like he’d wanted to do for more than a decade. The best part of it all was that he knew - they were just getting started.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was fun to write 😂😂😜😬😬

“This is nice, isn’t it?” Gwen asked, popping a french fry into her mouth. They had packed up her things from her hotel room, checked her bags with the concierge, and walked a couple blocks to a little cafe with a streetside patio. The sun was warm but there was a gentle breeze to keep it from getting too hot. 

“It is,” he replied, reaching across the table for her hand. She felt that familiar flutter in her chest that always came with his touch, or his smile, or when she knew he was looking at her. Right then it was all three of those things and the fluttering was quite wild. The wind was gently tossing his hair and the smile on his lips was so sexy. She mused yet again about how the man really did get better looking every year that passed. The bits of silver in his hair, the stubble on his face flecked with grey - it just made him look even more rugged and mature. 

The thing she loved the most was the way he was looking at her. For so many years she had refused to let herself see that sparkle in his eye, and refused to believe what it really meant. Even when they were fucking, she had never let her guard down long enough to feel everything that came with the way he gazed at her. All those years and she’d missed out on the warmth that was spreading from her chest to the rest of her body and the calm, comforting aura of knowing for certain that this man absolutely adored her with every part of his heart and soul. 

She looked down to where he was touching her hand - in public, where the whole world could see. His fingers tenderly stroked hers as he played with her hand in a very sensual manner. Gwen picked up another fry with her free hand and put it in her mouth to distract herself from the arousal that was building inside her. 

It didn’t work, not at all. She glanced around the patio area. There were people at every table near them and she knew without paying too much attention that several of them were looking at them. Normally that would have bothered her. She would have sat up a little straighter, acted more formal - oh who was she kidding - the past few years with Nik she wouldn’t have even gone out for lunch alone with him. 

There was absolutely no way she would have done what she was about to do. Gwen leaned across the table and found his lips. She had only planned on a quick peck, but her restraint wasn’t any better than his and what actually occurred was a sexy, steamy kiss that was sure to attract even more attention. And when they finally parted and she settled back into her seat - she was shocked by just how much she DIDN’T care. 

The sound of camera clicks caught her attention and she saw the paparazzi peeking out from wherever he’d been hiding. Again - she didn’t care. In fact, she looked right at the camera, held Nik’s hand a little tighter and she smiled. “Have I mentioned in the last 5 minutes about how much trouble you’re going to get us in?” Nik sighed. 

“You love it,” she replied sassily. Damn it felt so good to be this free and flirty with him. No whispers, no stolen glances, no speaking around necessary, just the two of them out in the world - together. 

“You think he got a good shot of us kissing?” Nik asked, a lazy, love drunk grin on his face. 

“Definitely,” Gwen replied. “The only question is - who will he sell it to?” 

Before Nik could respond her phone started to ring. Gwen glanced down and then declined the call. “You’re going to have to answer that eventually,” he warned, as he traced a heart shape in the palm of her hand. In her entire life she couldn’t remember a time that being in love felt this good. How had it taken this long to really, truly understand the rush and buzz of falling hard for another person? 

“I know. But not today. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day or the next day,” she teased. 

“If you still want to have a job to go home to you might want to reconsider that,” Nik chuckled. “I know my PR team is already on damage control, but that’s only going to piss your team off even more that you’re ignoring them.” 

“Oh my god, blah, blah, blah,” she groaned. “Can’t we just enjoy this? Please?” 

“I won’t say another word about it, promise,” Nik replied, with a throaty laugh. She absolutely knew he was right, but she just couldn’t risk anything killing her buzz. She loved the way she was feeling and wanted to ride the high as long as possible. The phone rang again and she gave him a look, then declined the call a second time. 

“I should just turn this damn thing off,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. 

Someone on the street called out to them and Gwen turned to wave politely. She kicked Nik under the table so he would wave too. “I just saw the tape,” the man yelled. “Wow.” 

He continued on his way and Gwen met Nik’s eye. “The tape? Is that what he said?” Her phone rang a third time and she declined without even looking at the phone.

“I think so,” Nik replied, looking confused. 

Gwen furrowed her brow. “What tape? What’s he talking about?” 

Nik pulled his phone out of his pocket and his eyes bugged out. “I forgot I put this on silent mode,” he muttered. “I’ve missed a few calls.” 

His phone started to ring the second he flipped the sound back on. And just as he was saying hello Gwen’s phone rang yet again. With a shaky hand and a knot in the pit of her stomach she picked it up and answered it. “Hello?” 

“Fuck woman,” her publicist screamed. “Why haven’t you been answering calls? I don’t get paid enough for this insanity,” he grumbled. “You sure know how to drop a bomb in the span of about 18 hours.” 

“I know, I’m sorry, but Nikolaj’s team already made a statement so I figured that would do for now,” she said calmly. 

“They made a statement already? About the tape?” he replied, sounding shocked. “I just got the news 10 minutes ago.” 

“Wait what? What tape? What is going on?” Gwen snapped. 

“Oh shit, you don’t know then,” he muttered. “Gwen, listen, this is serious - someone leaked a video today. It’s uh, well, it’s kind of a - uh, sex tape.” That high she was on came crashing down like a plane falling from the sky. She lifted her gaze and met Nik’s eye. It was clear he’d just received the same news that she had. Her publicist was still talking but she didn’t hear another word he said. 

“This is insane,” she whispered, hanging up her phone without saying goodbye. Gwen set it on the table and then - she did the only thing that she could - she started to laugh - hysterically.


End file.
